Day 78: A Tall Tale.

So, I nearly got hit by an 18-wheeler today. Here's what happened: I am in the first four miles of my run, just outside of Meade, Kansas on Route 54. This road is highly traveled by big trucks, and I have seen my fair share. I run against traffic on the left side of the highway, so at any point in time, I am merely feet from getting plowed by a semi. Usually, when the truck drivers see me running, they will make it a point to get over into the right lane if there is no traffic coming and give me plenty of room. On occasion, I have had some oversized load trucks pass requiring that I get in the grass, but I can see them coming, so I am prepared. However, neither of these scenarios take place today. I am running on the left side, as usual, and I am in the middle of a slight right turn (I am shocked there are any turns in Kansas). I see this big rig barreling my way, and I assume he is either gonna move over to give me room, or stay on the straight and narrow. I look down for just a second to swat at the fly gnawing on my leg flesh, and when I look back up, the truck isn't making the turn. He gets closer and closer, and I start getting worried. Suddenly, he veers right at me, and I have just enough time to throw my water bottle and hit his windshield, jump off the road, and roll into the very hot, and itchy grass. He slams on his brakes, and lays on the horn as I am pulling myself out of the ditch, dirty and bloody from cuts. I am obviously upset at this point, even more so when I see fhat he is angry at me. So I start walking toward the cab of his truck, and just then he jumps out and starts cursing at me. As I'm walking closer, I notice that he is wearing a University of Pittsburgh shirt, which immediately explains everything, except how a Pitt fan could ever learn to drive a tractor-trailor. He sees my WVU shirt, and immediately starts in on the in-laws jokes. That lasts just long enough for me to get within striking distance. And then the fight starts. Being in peak physical condition is a major advantage in a fistfight with a 300 lb trucker who can't even tie his shoes. I stick and move, working the jab, throwing in a right cross every so often, and he is mostly just wheezing and coughing. I start talking trash about last year's butt whuppin' we handed Pitt in football, and how it was gonna pale in comparison to the beatdown they are gonna receive this year. I hit him until he admits that Pitt sucks in all sports, forever. Just as the fight is ending though, another 18-wheeler suddenly loses control and slams into the Pitt fan's truck. Since I am done slapping him around, I let him up to check on the damage to his ride. To my surprise, and enjoyment, the truck that hit the Pitt fan's ride was being driven by an Ohio State fan!! Yeah, I know, I'm questioning these CDL classes too. So the Ohio State fan and the Pitt fan start in on each other. Although, it's not much of a fight, more like two grown men leaning on each other and bear hugging and crying about the lousy state of both their football programs. I am enjoying laughing at them when, suddenly, the back doors of the Ohio State fan's rig fly open, and a bunch of rabid armadillos he was transporting spill out into the road!! They were already angry, and made worse so by the wreck, and they are in attack mode. I try to run away. I make it nearly a mile down the road before a gang of 6 of them catch up with me. So, here I am, bloody from the near collision with a truck, squaring off with 6 rabid armadillos in the middle of Route 54 near Meade, Kansas!! I won't say that I win the fight, but I get in a few good shots on a couple of them, while the others are scratching and biting me. All in all, a pretty even battle says I. Although, I may now have rabies. Anyway, the armadillos finally tire themselves out, and I am able to break away and continue running. Luckily, I have just enough energy left to finish today's 20 miles. (EDIT: Jim, I hope that's good enough for next week's paper, haha)

So, it was a successful 4 day stretch. All good running days, even through the heat, and lack of sleep. We decided to drive up to Dodge City, which is only 20 miles north of Minneola, Kansas, where I finished today. Treated myself to Applebee's, and very excited to have a rest day tomorrow. Gonna go check out some Wyatt Earp stuff tomorrow, and maybe get a huge breakfast as well. I hope all is well back home. Missing everyone bigtime, and I can't wait to see you all soon. Goodnight.