Day 141: Mental Relief, Physical Pain.

Sorry I didn't blog last night. I was so freaked out about my back injury yesterday, that it completely slipped my mind. For those of you who didn't hear, my back went out yesterday about 15 miles into the run. Now, when I say "out", I can't exactly pinpoint what happened. I've had issues with my back for years, going all the way back to high school. I used to call them lower back spasms, but I'm not really sure if that is the problem. It may actually be nerve problems. Whatever it is, all I know is that, in the past, when it happened, I could barely even walk for a week, and running was completely out of the question. So, when I felt my lower back give out yesterday, it sent me into an intense panic. I hobbled to the finish and spent most of the evening scared to death that the run was, in fact, over. With only 11 running days remaining, I thought it may all be over, just like that. When I got up this morning, I could barely stand, let alone walk. Fear was the word of the morning. I prepared for the day's run like normal, but I was trying to prepare my mind for the possibility that I would not be able to run at all today. Only one way to find out, so we drove to the starting point and I tried to stretch a bit. Still freaked out, I told Mom to wait a few minutes behind as I started, in case I couldn't go. I was absolutely shocked as I started running that I could actually move, although very slowly and very painfully, I could move. Still, I was not sure how long I could run, because, at any moment, my back could completely give out and I would have to stop. It was in my mind, every step of every mile today, all the way up to the last step at the end of the 20th mile!! When I finished today, it was one of the biggest feelings of relief I have ever felt. Although every step was painful and uncomfortable, I was able to run. I figure, if it's gonna hurt, at least it's hurting while I'm moving towards home. So, today was a success because I was able to run and finish. I am still in a great deal of discomfort, and I am still very worried about tomorrow's run. I know, at any moment, my back can go, and I could be done. I am taking every step cautiously, and hoping and praying that I can run again tomorrow. Today was also a great relief. I want to thank each and every one of you for your prayers throughout today's run. I guess I am just not meant to coast home. I guess I am just meant to go through another trial at the end of this journey to keep me from becoming complacent. I am supposed to fight through this one last hurdle to remind me that I need to stay focused, all the way to the end. I just hope I can make it to the end.