email: dmrun2hot@gmail.com Facebook: DrewMiller TheLongroadhome Ways to Donate: 1. Cash- I have an account set up at FNB in Spencer for cash donations. Just tell the teller it's for Andrew Miller's WWP account. 2.Checks- Make checks out to the Wounded Warrior Project and either give them to my dad or sister in town, or mail them to 527 Church St., Spencer, WV 25276. I have a form that has to be filled out and sent in with each check. 3. Online Donations Page- I have an online donations page link on the right side of this blog. Simply click the link, and you can donate online.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Day 88: Don't Call It a Comeback!! What Happened to Me Today!!

All I can say about today is, I am shocked. Shocked in a very, very good way. I had no clue what was in store for today, but I was very worried due to the previous 2 days of misery. All I thought about last night after the 10 mile letdown was how in the world I was going to be able to run today. The fear of already being behind schedule was only compounded by the impending thought that I could fall way more behind if today was as bad as the last two days. Not only that, but I had to get up much earlier to try to miss some of the humidity, so I didn't sleep much. Basically, I was just scared of what could happen today. And, wouldn't you know, I had absolutely nothing to worry about, haha!! To my pleasant surprise, it was fairly overcast this morning, and not nearly as humid. Also, the wind, although strong against me, actually had a bit of coolness to it. To top things off, I was stunned as I started the run to find that I actually felt really good. Of course, I thought to myself, "Self, how long before my legs start shaking again and my vision starts blurring." Those thoughts lasted the entire first 5 miles. But, as I was nearing the van, I suddenly realized that I felt really good. I was still cautiously optimistic starting the second 5 miles, wondering if this would be when the exhaustion kicked in. Quite the opposite occured, however, as I began to feel stronger and stronger. By the 7th mile, all the fears I had from the past 2 days were long gone, and replaced by an inner confidence. By mile 10, although still completely dumbfounded as to how I could possibly feel this good, my confidence was bursting. Then, of course, came my natural arrogance in my mind. Suddenly, I was talking in  my head about how I bet I could run 40 miles today (yeah, I know I am swayed easily by my emotions, haha). Then I turned into Dad for about 3 miles, and started doing math in my head, calculating distances and what it would take to get back on schedule. I don't think I'll ever cure my OCD. I realized that, if, or should I say, after I finished my 40 mile excursion, I would only be 5 miles off the pace I needed. Ehh, what's 5 miles, it nothing. It's a cup of coffee. Then, the inward mental arrogance turned into flat out badgering of my body by my mind. I was saying things like, "you better get ready for 40 miles body, and I don't want to hear any whining from you, or I'll lock you back in the basement." You know, typical things you would see a crazy vagrant scream at himself in New York City. Despite the verbal assault on my physical being, my body just kept getting stronger. By the time I finished mile 15, I had it in my mind that I was going to run further than I ever have. Suddenly, 40 miles was a realistic goal. I stopped briefly to do an interview with the crew from KAKE-Channel 10 TV station (another in the long line of things Holly Paugh has done for me on this trip. What a wonderful man by the way.) Oh, and a side note, Rachael, the woman who interviewed me, was really, REALLY hot!! (Haha, I guess you all didn't really need that info.) Anyway, Mom asked if I was ready for lunch, and I said I was going to push it today and see just how far I could go with this great wave of energy. So I went 5 more miles, which gave me 20 for the day. Mom asked if I was done. I said no. So I went 5 more miles, making my total 25 miles. Mom asked if I was done. I said nnnoo, err, yeah, but just 'til after lunch. Here it was, only 3pm, and I'd already completed 25 miles, without a significant rest. The crazy thing was, I still felt great. I was so excited at the thought of what I could accomplish today. We came back to the lakehouse for lunch and some rest before the evening run. And, while I was lying in bed, pondering the morning, and the rest of the day, I realized what I had just accomplished. 25 miles without a real break. I let it sink in a little bit. Then I started thinking about just how bad I felt yesterday, and 2 days ago. I thought about just how nervous I was before the run this morning. Then it hit me, I was no longer nervous, I was back to being confident, just like that. I realized that I was content with the day. More than breaking my distance record, I just wanted to feel good about a run again. I promise you all, this journey, day in and day out, is as tough mentally as anything. I found that, all I really needed out of today was to get back to normal. So, I decided to call it a day. This is a very significant step for me mentally, because, as my sister will attest, I am extremely OCD about certain things. Normally, I would have had it in my head that I was going to run 40 miles, even if my legs fell off in the process. However, I took a step back, took a deep breath, and reminded myself that this is not a sprint, it's a marathon. There will be plenty of days when I feel good enough to run 25 miles over the course of the day, and I will make up the time I need within the next month and a half to comfortably arrive on time back home. At some point in the trip, most likely when I am much closer to home, I will catch another day like today, and I will choose then to break my own distance record, but not today. Today, I just needed to get back to normal, and use the rest of the day, and tomorrow to recover. Sometimes, it's good to learn when to not push too far. Today was that kind of day. Of course, being obsessive as I am, I also noted that, due to me finishing 25 miles today, I am at least back on track with the 20 mile a day average, haha. 1,380 down, about 920 remaining.
A quick note: I want to sincerely thank Holly Paugh for all of his hard work in welcoming me to Wichita. He has gone above and beyond this whole trip, but especially in these last few days. Tonight, he got us hooked up at the Texas Roadhouse. My first steak on the entire trip, and it was sooooooo worth the wait!! Not only that, but a huge thanks to the staff and management at the Texas Roadhouse for the welcome we received, the awesome meal that was on the house, the great service (thanks Landen), and the wonderful gesture after the meal with the entire staff picture. I'm sure Mom will post a few pics from the dinner. What a great end to a great day!! And it could not have come at a more needed time.

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