Day 23: The Times, They are a Changin'...

I couldn't help but rip off Bob Dylan at least once in this trip. I hope I'm not just getting ahead of myself, but the last few days of running have been very nice. There have been the normal little aches and pains, and a brief hip problem, but as far as stamina and energy, I actually feel like I am getting used to the daily grind. My good friend Jacob Fetty has been giving me tons of advice along the way. One thing he said was that my body should start getting used to the daily running within 30 to 45 days. Well, I've always been kind of impatient, so after day 19 of actual running, I'm hoping that I am starting to at least turn the corner. It is amazing what the human body can get used to, and how quickly it can happen. I think back to just 5 months ago, sitting on the couch, weighing 262 pounds, and doing absolutely nothing. I had let myself do nothing for almost 6 years, and it was a real shame. I was once in very good shape, for a long time. I had basically forgotten that person for the past 6 years. My dad always did his best to interject little sayings into our conversations to try and motivate me to do something, without actually saying, "Get off your lazy ass and get in shape!". Dad has always been like a zen master when it comes to subtle and subconscious motivational techniques. He should write a book, after he masters the lawnmower that is, haha. Anyway, one thing my dad has always said to me is this: "Never forget that you are an athlete." Very simple words, but they are so profound. I will be honest with you all, I forgot. I forgot how good it felt to compete. I forgot how much satisfaction I got out of pushing my body to its physical limits, and beyond. I forgot how good it felt to be worn out after a good hard run. Hell, I forgot how good it felt to be able to bend down and tie my shoes without having to come up for air midway through.
I often think back to when I was a kid, and how active I was. Always playing some sport. Always moving and running. For goodness sake, I was the first 4-sport letterman at Roane County High School. Yes, me, this slovenly 262 pound waste of athletic gifts. I can't help feeling deep regret for the years I wasted doing nothing. Some really good years to be playing basketball, baseball, running, etc. From age 25 to age 31. Those are some prime years right there. That is not to say that I was miserable. Just miserable physically. And when I am miserable physically, I can never be fully happy mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I suspect a lot of you are the same way. I do regret losing those years, because I can never, ever have them back. I am, however, using the anger I feel over allowing myself to do that, to fuel the raging fire I have right now to push me home. I am re-opening all of those doors to things I used to love doing. Like play basketball, and not as a power forward like I've had to be recently. I mean, like the quick thinking, slick passing, still terrible shooting point guard I used to be. One thing I miss so badly is baseball. I want to play again. And I will. Sometimes in random conversations with strangers, the subject of sports comes up. I'll tell them I used to play baseball, and actually tried to walk on at WVU. They inevetably say, "as a catcher, or a first baseman, or a DH?" No offense to any of those positions, but when I tell them I was a middle infielder, I can almost immediately see the look of "yeah right" in their eyes.
A few years ago, Dad and I took a trip across the country. I am so fortunate to have been able to do this with my father, and it is one of the greatest trips I have ever taken. We went to see Abe Lincoln's memorial, Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon. All of these places were as amazing, and humbling as I had hoped. But the one place I will remember most, well, really isn't an actual place, except in the movies. We got to visit the Field of Dreams, where the movie was filmed. The field is just as the movie projects, in the middle of cornfields in nowheresville, Iowa. But anyone who has seen the movie would know just how special this place could be for a father and son. Especially my dad and I, who have spent more hours together practicing baseball than anything else we've ever done. The movie has always been special to us because of our love for the game. There are too many great quotes to get into, but the one that got me the most, and still does, is when Kevin Costner's father shows up at the end, and Kevin's character asks his father, "Hey, Dad, you wanna have a catch." I am tearing up right now as I type this. A little silly I guess, but it means that much to me. So when Dad and I made it to the Field of Dreams, walked onto the field, and Dad asked me if I wanted to "have a catch", I cried. For probably the first minute that we stood on that field, tossing a baseball back and forth. It was the first time we had tossed baseball since I was about 18 years old. Still to this day, one of the most profound moments in my life.
I tell you all of that to tell you this. Other than that moment, I have basically forgotten how much baseball meant to me. I lived and breathed it for so long. I gave too much blood, sweat and tears to the game to allow myself to just forget. But I almost have. That is, until this run. I fully intend to begin working on baseball again when I get home, and hopefully I can get back into it enough to at least play in a Men's League somewhere. Just one more chance to give my heart and soul to the sport I so loved as a kid.
That is what this run, this journey is allowing me to do. It is allowing me to dream of things again, but not only to dream about them, to actually do something about those dreams. What a great feeling. Oh the Times, They are a Changin', yes they certainly are, and I am very excited about that.